randomness...

2011-04-27T22:09:00.003+08:00

Election fever has hit our dear sunny little island. To be honest, I never expected the wave of political awareness hit our country so soon and so completely. It marks the start of a new era for our country's politics, and I sincerely hope this will be a sustained change.

I have been following the news on the elections. While I am unable to recite the names of all the new candidates, and tick off all the candidates contesting in the different constituencies, I believe I have gotten the gist of the message. The opposition this time has sent a strong signal to both the ground and the ruling party that they mean business, and they want a stronger voice within the government. These are exciting times for Singapore politics, and I'm overwhelmed by the progress.

All my life, I have been taught a certain way, through a certain system, and inculcated with certain values. It is safe to note that the main message brought forth has always been to not rock the boat, and to not try to fix what is not broken. We see so many new, well-qualified candidates emerging from the Opposition's ranks this election, and it has made me wonder. Some of them are my age, some are much older, but we have all gone through the exact same system. In this land where pragmatism has been the buzz-word since day one, and where caution is advised in every step we take, it is inspiring to see so many individuals like myself step forward and plunge themselves into the deep sea of politics using a small dinghy called the Opposition. Given the calibre of quite a few, they could have chosen the large cruiser, but they did not. The path less taken has finally been been acknowledged, albeit by only a few, as a valid route by itself.

While tracking the Nomination Day status on Twitter (the wonders of new media!), I was really worked up. Someone asked me why I was so excited about the elections. How can I not be, when this represents such an important milestone in our lives, in our history? Finally, our ruling party is being tested on the ground by other credible individuals who also want to serve. I can sense the quiet determination in the strategies put forth by these parties - the incumbent MPs who gave up their seats to contest in a GRC where a respected MP holds fort. The determination to have a bigger voice in Parliament shines through, especially since they might eventually end with zero seats.

How can I not care? I am given a choice, the first in my 25 years, to help decide who I want to sit in that room debating and proposing policies. I am not anti-establishment, but I cherish the chance I have to exercise my vote. Any party which has able candidates should be given a fair chance to speak their share. The ability to tell whether a person is sincere is not something that can be taught through formal education, despite what some publicised studies have been trying to tell us.

It definitely is important to remember the progress and the work that it took to bring us to where we are today. However, we should keep in mind that gratitude is not the best way to bring forth a credible and accountable government. Moreover, the exceptional individuals who brought us this progress have mostly left. We should therefore look at their successors, and whether they are the best people for the job. We all go through interviews for our jobs, and this is no different. Politicians must have the courage and strength to stand up to the public's scrutiny, while the public must be given a choice.

We get a voice. That is what this year's election is about, whatever the outcome.

2011-03-11T22:11:00.001+08:00

I'm so glad I didn't get 4 As for my A levels.

2011-01-18T22:32:00.002+08:00

Its really true how you can find so many different new things in a book even if you have read it so many times before. At every stage of your life, at every new reading, something you never saw in comes up. Everytime. Its really amazing.

Thanks to the wonders of technology (and phone apps), I have just started re-reading an old favourite of mine. A classic, really, but I don't believe many have read it. If they have, probably not past the first book, because its the most famous, and I won't have known there were sequels if I had not stumbled across them one day so long ago in the library (yes, I used to visit the library very often. I should make it a habit nowadays too).

Anyway, the book I have rediscovered is Anne of Green Gables. And there are 7 more books after that extending her story throughout her life. Its incredible how this one book can immediately cheer me up. I get to see the world through Anne's eyes again, and she is one who can look at almost anything and create a whole world of imagination. Somehow it has freed me from the mundane existence I think I lead now, and helped me to appreciate things much more. She lives in a beautiful countryside, with a brook and a tree just outside her window. I had envied my Swiss buddy for having a green hill as a backyard, but at least I live in Singapore, with its clean streets and greenery everywhere. She appreciates and she loves, and I think I had forgotten how to do that for a while.

I think it was really timely for me to discover these books again, because I had grown so tired of everything, and my issues with work had threatened to overshadow all other aspects of my life. But now I remember that there is so much more to life, to appreciate, to love, to live.

2011-01-02T23:42:00.003+08:00

Another year has begun. Let all the unhappiness of the past year go with the conclusion of this chapter - let's start with a new slate.

I'm beginning to explore my options once again. From the previous year's desperation to be employed, to having held a "proper" job for one year, I must say the ideals I hold still ring true. I still believe that I can find satisfaction in my work and that there is one job that you can do everyday and not get tired of it. So far, I honestly confess that I have not found it yet. The changes in my portfolio notwithstanding, I don't think I have been stretched in my area of work, in the way that I want. Sometimes I feel that I have to dumb myself down in order to communicate with others at my workplace. That may sound snobbish, but that's who I am. I want to work in an environment that stimulates me to think and grow intellectually, and not just pander to so many other people's needs as if I live to serve them.

I'm not a customer service-type and never will be. I have affirmed this fact for so long, but my attempt to communicate this somehow could not get through to my supervisor. He told me that "sometimes in life, you cannot always get what you want". Maybe so, in terms of how things out of your control might just happen. But I believe you can take control of the aftermath, and that's what I'm going to do. I can't always get what I want in life, but my job is not my whole life. Staying is not the only option. If I can find something else that offers me what I much prefer, why should I stay? He has his point of view, I have mine. If these do not and cannot coincide, then we have reached a parting of ways. No point making myself unhappy in this way.

So any new options, please present to me. Yes, you, the one who still remembers the presence of this blog. :D

2010-09-28T22:01:00.002+08:00

I must seriously learn how to return curveballs back to the thrower. Even if it is someone who works closely with me all the time. I'm so pissed right now I can't even think straight. Delayed reaction, maybe, since this happened in the morning and I'm more worked up right now, but I seriously cannot believe that someone's oversight suddenly became evidence of my incompetence. I won't be appeased till I've vindicated myself.

2010-09-20T23:01:00.003+08:00

After starting work, it seems very easy to lose yourself. Because the routine is so fixed and the hours so long, its just very comfortable to go with the flow from one day to another without thinking - wake up, work, go home, sleep, then wake up again. The difference between school and work life is so vast that you sometimes have to take some time to realise that you have actually stopped all the activities you used to love. All the things that used to define you while you were in school - besides studying - have suddenly disappeared together with your flexible schedule.

It now turns out that you actually have to make time for these activities, because they can no longer take up the core of your time. And that's the part I still cannot reconcile with. The dilemma between holding a job with regular hours means you don't get to enjoy and plan your day as you want. There is always a schedule you have to follow, people you have to meet, issues you have to follow up with - all of these mean that your time is no longer at your own disposal. Unless you are your own boss, that is. Then again you would probably have other issues to worry about.

Up till now I am still holding onto the illusion that flexible working hours or working from home is a much better lifestyle choice than what I am currently experiencing. That is not to discount the fact that I find the work I do fulfilling at times (because some are just mundane, boring tasks which are time-sensitive but not at all important), but I am still very envious of those who get to spend daytime out of the office, even if it means they are still doing work. But whether its just a fallacy of greener grass, I can't tell, not from where I am standing now.

How is it that we all must learn to give and take - freedom to schedule your time for respectable, stable jobs and salaries; the student without a care in the world (exams and papers don't count) for the very real adult worries.

But this is a reality I have to face, at least for now, before I discover any other viable paths that lead me away. Its not that bad a situation, but I do lament, rather much, that loss of innocence and those halycon days.

2010-05-29T20:12:00.002+08:00

Are humans so lost that we seek answers in anything we can find? From the ancient myths and legends that were meant to explain the forces to nature, to the rapidly growing congregations of religions, self-help groups and what-nots. All these seem to be aimed at providing humans with some sort of meaning in life, or to search for your soul or some lost part of yourself so you can be fulfilled and happy and confident.

I admit, I am still lost as to my exact direction in life, I do not feel like a success in any way, but I wonder on this trend of searching for yourself. Are we all so in need of answers that we will stop at nothing to find them, to poke holes in our lives to see how the fabric of our lives was woven together, and to make sense and psychoanalyse every single thing that has been said and done? I know it helps some, and there has really been cases of people finding themselves and changing from unhappy people to being confident and fulfilled. But I wonder, is there really such a stage that is attainable? We are humans; none of us are without desire - if we were, the Buddhists (to give an example) would not be searching so hard for nirvana within themselves. At which point would you say that you are happy and fulfilled? Won't that be the end of life for you, since you have already attained everything you ever wanted?

What is this "meaning in life" people talk about anyway? I cannot profess to understand the purpose of which each of us were brought to this earth, and the way each of us leave. Why is it that some can live such long lives, while others get theirs cut off tragically at a point where they should still have so much in front of them? All I know now is that I am here, and alive. But I don't need all the answers. I just want to do the best I can, everyday, to make sure that I do not let myself down. Whether I am doing that or not, I do not want some group to tell me. There is strength in numbers, yes, and there is that sense of belonging when you are part of an in-group. But I'm not sure about how trustworthy each of these groups are - taking in people who feel lost and alone, and in some way indoctrinating them with their particular set of beliefs. Sounds like some sort of exploitation to me.

Do not get me wrong - I am not putting down or insulting any organised group. I'm merely voicing my own thoughts. These groups definitely have done good and encouraged many. But for myself, I do not really see the point at this stage in my life to join such groups in order to "find myself" or "become a better person". Let me find answers on my own. It might be slower, yes, but at least I am sure that it was not under some group or peer pressure/influence. Let me find my own path in life, at my own pace, thank you very much.

2010-05-15T00:36:00.002+08:00

Do I have the aunt agony face? Or am I so easygoing people think I will agree to any request? I just want to spend a relaxing weekend, thank you very much.

Ok I'm tired.

2010-04-28T23:33:00.003+08:00

Long long time since my last update! Which was quite depressing. Couldn't help it. It is a depressing thing to see a schoolmate pass so young.

Its been nearly 5 months since I started my job, and so far its been a learning journey all the way. Can't say I love every aspect of the job, but there are points when I feel that I'm helping to make a difference in the organisation, and that is when I feel like I am doing something useful. Of course, times will come when I feel like I'm just doing something for the sake of achieving some paper goal. But most of my frustration comes from people who are uncooperative or unwilling to take ownership of things under their purview. To them, if you shove something under the carpet deep enough, it might just not surface until you are well into your nth position.

Stayed late in office today to address some urgent issues. While its tiring, I think this area of work is rather more interesting compared to some others I have come into contact with. I must say my boss is someone who will provide you the chance to try out different things, but you have to make sure you do a good job, if not that would just reflect even more badly on you. I feel I'm still rather dependent on him, hopefully because I'm still learning the ropes - almost every week I come into contact with a new type of issue. We'll see how things go. As long as I feel like I'm learning something and that I'm contributing to the organisation, I will see a reason to stay. While the current place doesn't completely suit my interests, there are enough chances for me to train myself and see how far I can go.

Though I do hope to not stay past 7pm in office everyday! Sigh. At least I don't stay in for lunch.

2009-12-30T23:43:00.002+08:00

I really really hated 2009. It brought me so many bad news since the beginning of the year. And it just couldn't end quietly. Just saw on facebook that a schoolmate passed away this morning. I don't think I spoke even 2 sentences to him, but somehow I can't help feeling really affected. Is this how it feels like when someone young goes so tragically? Especially when I do remember him being so full of life and laughter. I'm sorry this isn't shaping up to be a beautiful eulogy, but I am really at a loss for words right now. And I feel quite like a hypocrite for getting so affected when I didn't even know him. We weren't even hi-bye acquaintances. But I really, sincerely extend my condolences to his family, and I hope he rests in peace.

Please, no more deaths for the next year, however impossible that may sound.

2009-11-25T11:11:00.002+08:00

Strange how people change when they move on to working life. Some become so obsessed with work that it becomes their whole life. Every single thing revolves around work. Friends? Relegated to somewhere at the periphery of the consciousness and only remembered when there is a lull in work. Actually we should have been prepared for such an occurence, since such workaholic behavior starts from while we are still in school. Those that are always involved in some activity or other in their clubs or with their classes are more likely to become obsessed workaholics in the future. I have proven examples for that.

But seriously, always busy? Like 24/7 busy? However much work has become your life, I don't believe it. Maybe I'm being hypocritical since I have not started work yet and can't experience how fulfilling work can be that it will take up my whole life, and maybe its just a step towards a great career. I don't know that. And truthfully? I don't really want that if this is what it takes. I understand that everyone has different goals in life, and these lead to different paths, away from each other. Then again, maybe its just selective response, and we are not the lucky ones who get replies. Its ok. I can't be bothered anymore.

(This is an accumulation of things that have been happening since I don't know when. I'm not at my angriest point, that was long past. Just felt like talking about it now. Friends may not be the most important people in our lives, but I don't think I can ever survive without them. But that's just me.)

2009-11-20T11:39:00.002+08:00

ok decided! will be in a ministry which safeguards the country from internal threats. But things don't seem so confirmed yet to me though, the higher-ups gotta give approval before they get back to me on the actual contract and starting date -_- I foresee a damn steep learning curve job-wise, and will probably have quite alot of work to do. To those working at a certain mrt stop along the red line, you'll get an additional lunch buddy! Haha.

(I'm not saying straight out where I'll be working just in case. lol.)

2009-11-15T12:13:00.003+08:00

I got offers! Deciding between two different organisations right now, and even after they called, I had more calls for interviews at other places. Seems apt to use the phrase "when it rains, it pours" here, but with a positive connotation to it. lol. Monday will be the day of decision. I can't really predict how happy I will be at the job, but I just pray that my decision will not be something I regret. Which means I'm not choosing the org for its name or just the pay or because the position sounds nice. But I am always in danger of doing that. Which makes me think it might not be very good to have choices sometimes. Existential guilt brought to the fore, man.

That said, I can finally declare my job search over. Well, for now. Its been a long six months since the final exams in uni, and I must say one of the most eventful periods of my life. Not exactly the best time of my life either. At least I can say that I'm finally going to leave behind aimless unemployment and move on to the rat race. At least I'll be earning and not feel like a useless bum.

2009-11-11T21:27:00.002+08:00

我很不喜欢猜疑的感觉。但是有时，我还是会情不自禁地想，所听到的忠告，到底几分是出自关心，而几分是出自于那个人对自己的生活上的不满。我并不怀疑那份好意，只是觉得所获得的意见有时有点偏激。在这时候，我不禁会想此忠告到底有没有真正针对我的情况说出来。其实我很感谢一直以来每个朋友在找工作方面的帮助，但是最终的决定还是在于我吧，语出伤人实在有点过分。尤其当你根本不清楚我想要的是什么，也不知道当下的情况，就草率的下定论，真得让我觉得那并非善意的批评。真的需要因为我不采取意见就说重话吗？而有时候则是明明自己说了会尊重我的决定，却会因为不赞同我的想法而以非常不屑的语气口是心非。我了解这份关心，但是我非常不喜欢这种咄咄逼人的关心，也不想有那种要因为别人而勉强改变想法的感觉。

2009-11-03T20:16:00.002+08:00

1 rejection (on both sides, actually, job fit was epic fail), 1 no news, 2 through to the next round! *crosses fingers*
The one that came through email was quite shocking though, I was only in the interview room for around 5 to 10 min and I thought there wasn't much hope. Apparently its called a preliminary interview for a reason. lol.

Wish me luck!

By the way: I fell and injured my foot on Friday. Wasn't exactly my ankle as stated on facebook, but didn't know how to phrase it, haha. Thankfully its getting much better, hopefully will be good enough for me to squeeze into heels for my next interview.

2009-10-29T01:02:00.002+08:00

'Tis the season for interviews man. Just got notice for my 3rd one this week!

I hope I can wing it though, can't find the job scope anymore. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed. Wish me luck!

2009-10-27T20:05:00.001+08:00

I need to re-evaluate my job-search priorities. Because my current list is making me go around in circles and inducing not-so-smart decisions.

2009-10-21T12:06:00.003+08:00

I think there's some clash in 8 characters for me and a certain ministry that has a MP with the same surname. Twice I was called for interviews, twice something happened that made me unable to attend the interview! This time I even made it there before everything came to a halting stop. Don't ask, too embarrassing to say. Haha.

Hopefully my next two interviews go well! If you know, you know. If not, don't ask till they are over, don't wanna jinx myself any further. Hope the job scopes are ok as well. Job search is a bitch man! I want this over and done with SOON.

2009-10-15T17:16:00.002+08:00

I'm unemployed again!

Not exactly unhappy about it ending, just about how it ended. Could have been a better and less abrupt parting, methinks.

Slacking at home after working regular hours is letting me do more things at home then I did previously, which is good, though it kinda gets boring after awhile. I guess I should get myself out to do some part-time work soon. Anyone with lobang?

On the job search front, I do hope this Sunday goes smoothly and I move on to the next selection round. I am rather attracted by the prospects of one of the departments, though it is rather hard to get in.

Side note: In this era of information overload, some things should still not be shared too openly with others. I don't mean to be rude, but i'm not that much of a voyeur that I would be so very interested in every nuance of someone else's life. 点到为止, you know? A summary is enough, please spare me the details, especially when they are not that appealing to me. Thank you very much.

2009-10-06T15:01:00.002+08:00

I realize that there is even a hierarchy for complaints. You don't go into a conversation thinking I want to have a commiserating session because there is definitely a difference to the level of grouses you have. Unless you are complaining about the same thing, which would make it bitching.

Here is the hierarchy of complaints, something I gathered from all my friends, who somehow seem to be not as happy before. Welcome to working life.

1. Financial difficulties. Nothing spells misery more than debts, except perhaps more debts.
2. Overloaded with work. While finances make the top of the list, this is the most frequent complaint. You can't spew your frustrations about finances to everyone as it is somewhat a private matter, but workload is THE COMPLAINT. Most socially accepted. It seems you gain an immediate group of friends once you contributing to this particular conversation.
3. Office politics. Working is hard enough, but you have to deal with more human-related problems? Start your bitching man!
4. Family problems. 'Nuff said.
5. General unhappiness. "Why is my life so boring?" "I have no life!"

Having nothing to do at work never makes it to the list. Because people assume you are enjoying your slacking time. Having nothing challenging at work doesn't make the list as well. Because, well, it apparently does not tire you out as much as "the amount of work I have".

2009-10-06T11:47:00.001+08:00

I need to remember that this period is but a transitory one.

Put it to fruitful use and discover what I really want to do with my life, I say.

Then again, all talk is cheap. Words, more so.

2009-10-05T21:51:00.002+08:00

Thank goodness for this blog which no one visits anymore. I need a place to rant badly without irritating other people who are all so busy with their own lives right now. I have experienced for myself how some friends really grew up alot in the space of one or two months after starting work, but for myself, I still feel like I'm stuck in the middle, traipsing the space between working adult and student/bummer.

Nothing really happens at work for me to learn from anymore; my learning curve had long since ended with my internship. I am not saying anything against the company, but simply that I am well past the time when I feel that I am able to grow through my experience with them. This therefore results in this disgustingly irritating period of self-pity and overreactions (simply because I have to exercise off my frustrations somewhere, and thus ends up in my thinking too much).

Its not like I have stopped searching for jobs, but you can only be enthusiastic up to a certain point, when things start to merge into one and you lose the drive to continue with your search. That is the stage I am at now. Yes I was shortlisted for something, but that still seems so far away and unreachable that I have not even started preparing for it. I just want to relax every evening when I come home from work and I don't want to spend weekends on anything but leisure. Yes, part of it is sloth, but I do realize that it might not be a good idea to work fulltime and apply for other jobs at the same time. But I'm not sure if I am worn out due to my current situation, or if I am simply such a lazy person that I cannot stand clocking in normal working hours, 5 days a week.

What makes this even worse is that I can't seem to complain about it to anyone. 1) No one really understands the situation because they are either really working or not working at all; 2) There are a few with much worse situations compared to me that my problems seem to be insignificant and unworthy of complaint when I am with them. Hence me, here, writing. I need some meaning in my life. Or some more significant brain activity that does not involve reiterating boring content over and over or conjuring up flowery phrases to describe mundane things.

2009-10-05T21:29:00.003+08:00

Life after graduation is overhyped.

Or maybe I'm biased, since I am stuck in a rut with no end in sight.

Its really sad, I think, when I still can't find a permanent position that I like and that provides a minimal amount (at least) of fulfillment, both intellectually and financially. And I can't seem to find anyone to complain to, since most of my friends are working in full-time positions, which, to a large extent, are financially fulfilling. Many are so busy they have no time to contemplate whether they get any other kinds of satisfaction from their jobs, or they don't see it as a priority. My situation right now is the complete opposite. I am not really busy, or rather, I get really easily distracted by other online sites and activities in the midst of having work to do. IF i have work to do. But nothing excites me anymore. I am just living each day as it comes, looking forward to lunch if I'm meeting friends, or after work if I'm meeting them then, or simply just to get to sleep on the bus.

I was just drifting through the motions while preparing for a shower the other day when I suddenly realized that I have not been singing in the shower for a long time. Sounds potentially embarrassing, yes, but it usually is a reflection of my mood, and of the songs that I was currently in love with. But it had not happened for a couple of months, after I started work. Was I so unhappy even at the start? Or was I simply so drained from work life that I didn't have the strength to even feel anymore? Or perhaps, I have not had the chance to enjoy music as I did before I started work. I don't know the exact reason, but all three seem plausible, and quite depressing, really.

This is going to be a preview to the rest of my life. Even studying, if that ever comes to fruition, will only be a temporary reprieve. Right now I am thinking of possible ways to alleviate this situation, but it will definitely result in more spending, which, to be honest, is not my current favourite activity. Looking at my pathetic bank balance totally kills the urge to indulge, if there is any time for it at all.

2009-08-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

3 times in 6 years.

No wonder I knew the procedures so well.

2009-07-27T22:00:00.000+08:00

I take back what I just said about not wanting to write. The feeling just struck me.

While so many of my peers have moved onto their next stage in life, I feel like I'm still stuck in limbo. Not only because I don't have a job, but also because I can't seem to see what lies ahead. So what if I get a job? What comes after? The constant refrain - wake up, eat, go work, eat, come home, sleep? Isn't there anything else to life? What happened to our big dreams and ambitions, to travel the world, to become someone famous etc? All swallowed by the reality that is life, huh. And after all, these dreams need money. Or maybe, just maybe, we lack the initiative to go forward, to carve out our own route in life, instead of succumbing to societal pressure and settling down.

I admit, freely, that I am not a brave person. I am scared of the unknown, and while I admire people who step into it with nary a thought, I don't think I can ever have the same amount of courage to do so. To be honest, the thought of having a regular paycheque is enticing in its own way, and I believe I won't mind doing so for at least a few years since I do like some money in the bank. So while I wait for interviews to come, and apply for more jobs, I just hope that whatever comes in the end can, at the end of the day, be something I enjoy. That sounds passive, I agree, but its the best thing I can come up with when I am simply not sure about what path I want to do. Work experience would be a value-add for me at this stage.

Perhaps my calling is somewhere I can't reach as yet. I will just have to wait and see how this week pans out. As the chinese saying goes, 尽人事，听天命。

2009-07-27T21:57:00.000+08:00

Felt like updating this blog, but didn't want to write anything, so will post up something emo I wrote. haha.

想

是否别来无恙？
好想问的一句话
却已无法得到回应
曾以为来日方长
谁知转眼世界就变了样

现在的我
还能清晰地听见
你说笑的声音
但我其实好怕
时间会把仅存的这一点也带走

我很好奇
会不会有一天突然发现
已经能把你的缺席当成自然
让想你的时刻减成偶然
笑着说关于你的故事没有丝毫感伤

真的好想知道
是否别来无恙？

© kaykey

2009-07-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

Job-hunting sucks. Maybe I'm just being too picky, like how I am towards everything else in life. Granted I'm not as frustrated as some right now, but that may be due to the fact that I am receiving precious little phone calls despite applying for many positions. Rar. Come, jobs, drop from the sky onto my lap NOW.

2009-07-11T00:21:00.000+08:00

Maybe

Maybe one day I will talk, let it all out of me

Maybe eventually I will tell you what it is like; straddling two worlds, two minds

Maybe words will fail me.

Or they might not, breaking like that of water from a dam

And maybe, just maybe, I will learn to remember, not regret.

2009-06-15T00:58:00.002+08:00

Wow, long time since i last updated. I'm sure I lost all my readers (if any) already. But I just got a sudden urge to blog, so I'm going to go with the flow.

My birthday is coming again soon, and today I had my first celebration (sounds very self-centred, but I know blewky + hw's gonna celebrate for me again, right, RIGHT? :D) Today was with the st gallens people I met from exchange. I can't believe its already been one year since we came back from all that traveling, but they brought a piece of that back to me by presenting me with my very own eiffel tower. Two years in a row, wow. How many people on this side of the world can claim that they celebrated their birthday in front of the eiffel tower? I must say I'm lucky when it comes to friendships. I know I have said this in many different places, and they might not see it here, but thanks alot guys, I really appreciate the thought put into this gathering. Traveling truly does build strong bonds. I can attest to that with this group and all the others I have met on my trips around Europe. We are just somehow still able to connect and talk about everything under the sun. And I always have fun when I meet up with these people.

Actually I also just came back from another trip, to Taiwan this time. I loved the people, the places we went, and the fact that I am understood wherever I go. We did go through some crazy experiences, like hiking up and downhill on slippery slopes in slippers just to transit between trains - with the train conductor leading the way and everyone else who was on board following - and renting a car to drive around the place on our own (though that was more of jer's crazy experience, since she was the driver, lol).

I can't believe a year has passed from when I was just a girl with a backpack traveling around europe. Things were more simple then, just thinking about how to save more money and to make better use of my eurail pass. Now reality is hitting and we all need to find jobs. On to the next stage of our lives! When I was younger, I used to wish for material things on my birthday was I blew out the candles. But when I turn 23 next week (sounds old =X), I just wish everything will turn out for the best, and that I will think through the decisions I made, so that there will be no regrets. And definitely, to retain and make friends like the ones I already have.

2009-03-25T21:54:00.003+08:00

A word of advice for someone i know: don't whine and complain to someone else about how sad your life is, expect comfort, then turn around and shove it back at the other person's face. It just goes to show how much you want to wallow in self-pity.

Idiots like that piss me off. But I'll still be nice and not disclose your identity since you don't read my blog anyway.

2009-03-08T13:02:00.004+08:00

I just went for the Singapore Entertainment Awards yesterday night, and it was a blast! Not that much of a typical awards show, but more of inviting the winners to come perform. Thanks to Charlene (and her roy) for the tickets! I'm so glad I went. It was such a great feeling to forget all about school and applying for jobs and to just sit back and enjoy great music. Kinda made me want to stand on stage. lol. I always have these urges from time to time.

I was also quite impressed by all the local artistes who performed. I mean, I know their names and their works, but its so rare to get to see so many of them, mainstream or not, join forces and perform together on the same stage. Imagine: Budak Pantai and Stef Sun, Joi Chua and JJ Lin with Ong Kheng Long (very famous in the music scene for being one of the best keyboardists), Kaira Gong and the AMPs! Very rare pairings, but they presented really good performances. There is hope for the local music industry yet. :D

Suddenly there are lots of cds i want to buy, because they impressed me so. I'm gonna write a list just to remind myself:
1. Derrick Hoh
2. Cheer Chen
3. Taiwanese newcomer called Zuo Guang Ping
4. Olivia Ong
5. AMPs if Jim Lim sings lol.

2009-03-01T16:13:00.002+08:00

I can't believe half of my last term is gone already. And I'm still mugging like nobody's business. Isn't the final term supposed to be relaxed, enjoying school without suffering for it, and all that? Well I guess I won't get to have that kind of experience because the modules I picked require a lot of work. So. Yay!

Why am I blogging? Because there's a midterm tomorrow. Check out my loving tribute to my prof on msn. He's rather funny, just really all over the place and not very organized this sem. That said, he still amuses me in class so I guess all complaints are made in a half-amused, half-exasperated tone. Heh.

Nothing much to update actually, haven't had a very exciting life these days. But it was great catching up with most of Blewky last week. We still can make each other laugh even though we rarely get to meet up. :) I always start a bout of nostalgia for JC life after I meet you guys. Ahh, those carefree days... (somehow my memories of JC life and A levels mugging are totally separate. Mentally compartmentalizing my joys and pains. What a developed thing the brain is.)

Ok I should get back to studying, even though I wish I were doing something else, like msning, or sleeping! Best weather to sleep right now, so rainy and stormy. zzzzz.

2009-02-14T23:36:00.002+08:00

My butt is killing me. Yes I still went out on Valentine's Day despite being single. Well the 4 of us who went out together were all single, so it was like, against the establishment! Though we could only order with Valentine's Day menus at dinner, which didn't really make sense to me.

Oh yeah, but why is my butt killing me? Well we were supposed to go to this car boot sale at East Coast Park (no exercise, xq, that's why I went out even though I didn't go for the Sentosa thing!), then it was suggested that we go cycling. Great idea, with someone who has still not regained her sense of balance. So, we rented a tandem bike. It was actually quite fun, all I had to do was to pedal, and someone else steers for me. But somehow it felt like I was sitting in a car while someone else drove. There was an almost accident at the start, but we got the hang of it. You need chemistry to ride tandem bike ok, and we went quite fast somemore. Haha. So after just 1 hour of cycling, my butt was sore. Old already. Sigh.

Anyway, there wasn't much of a v-day feel to everything other than the dumb v-day menus that serve less than half of the usual stuff. Don't couples out on dates want the same variety of dishes to order from? Oh wait. They should be forced to pay more for less quantity AND quality right. See, this is not a rant against the couples (mainly because I didn't see many) but against the commercialization of this day. Which is, quite irritating, to say the truth.

Ok well, still 10 min before the day ends, so Happy Valentine's Day to all!
(I think i better go buy 4D. I actually updated so fast after my previous post! I'm astounded at myself. LOL.)

2009-02-12T15:29:00.002+08:00

I realize i like to blog like tons of entries all at once, then leave this site to itself for another long period, before doing it again. But here i'm just posting my 25 points which I did on facebook. That website is seriously getting addictive. I find myself refreshing it regularly even though I don't do much on it and don't update my profile. Heh.

Ok anyways, here it is! My 25 points:

1. I have officially lost my sense of balance. At least for a few days while this vertigo condition lasts due to a viral infection in my inner ear.

2. Exchange was the best decision I ever made in my undergrad life, with many unexpected results.

3. I used to be such a tomboy in primary school. Blame it on growing up together with mostly boy cousins.

4. I'm glad to be really close to many of my cousins, even now. No lack of movie kakis!

5. I'm quite a procrastinator.

6. I love manga and anime! Yes, i'm a closet otaku. lol

7. I can be quite a snob sometimes.

8. Gossiping is a guilty pleasure.

9. I'm in awe of people who walk out of the house unkempt, because i can never do that.

10. I can be quite a mugger when i want to.

11. I love music, both listening and creating it. And I need it to survive.

12. I dare to say i'm effectively billingual. LOL.

13. Singapore weather sucks. I took 1 whole semester to get used to it after coming back.

14. I like animals, but i don't know how to handle them when they become too friendly.

15. I used to feel lost when i went without my phone for a day.

16. Now I feel lost without my laptop for a day.

17. I don't understand people who wear things with big logos that showcase their affiliation with some organization when there is no need to do so.

18. I love reading. Probably 1 of 2 remaining dinosaurs who go to the library for pleasure reading.

19. I enjoyed reading the twilight series, but i don't know why!

20. I prefer taking the bus to the mrt.

21. I like receiving emails from friends that actually say something. Not regarding projects or chain mails.

22. I'm a gemini.

23. I'm really lazy about exercise.

24. I am a couch potato. Or rather I used to be until youtube and everything else like it was invented. Now I camp in front of my computer.

25. I did this note because people who did it tagged me and I feel bad about not reciprocating. So I shall pass it on! wahahaha.

2009-02-12T14:43:00.002+08:00

I think that I have lost interest in blogging.

I could complain that its because I have a monotonous life, but bottom line is that I'm just not doing enough to spice it up so that there are interesting events. Haha. But my other hypothesis (which is being proven on a regular basis) is that when something interesting happens, a faint inkling pops up in my mind, "I could blog about this!" And when I finally reach home and start up the computer, a million things on- and offline distract me, so nothing's posted as well. Procrastinate, much?

I'm sure anyone (if there's anyone left now) who is still checking this blog will be stunned that I actually updated. But well, surprises abound, especially when you are not looking for it. Heh.

Ok I'm supposed to advertise winston's blog. He's doing some module about media, and his project is starting up an anime review blog. Anyone who watches tons of animes and want to review can get in touch with me if you don't know him personally. I'm sure he will welcome the contributions. Lol. Link is up at the sidebar too. Visit please!

On a side note, Japanese lessons are fun! Helps when your table mates are hilarious. And I'm quite amazed that I'm still keeping in touch with those Singaporeans I met from exchange. Like regularly meeting them, even more than friends I used to hang out with before exchange.

2009-01-21T01:11:00.002+08:00

Congratulations, President Obama.

Great speech. I'm totally in awe. No notes, just the power of your voice and emotion.

"We understand that greatness is not a gift - it must be earned."
"The question we ask today is not whether our govt is too big or too small, but whether or not it works."
"We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense."
"Know that your people will judge you on what your can build, not what you destroy."

- Abstracts from the inauguration speech

After the festivities end, the world will turn its eyes to what you can do. Let's hope work is done this time.

2009-01-10T11:02:00.002+08:00

Back to school. Nothing much to note, except that its another new year, and we are all older by a year again. =(

I was going to write about Little Nyonya, but we'll see how it goes with that special ending the producers are going air sometime soon. Heh.

2008-11-21T20:39:00.003+08:00

Wah 2nd post!

Just a comment. I just happened to be scrolling through my other blog, the one I kept while on exchange in Switzerland. Somehow the entries in it have so much more content, and were written much better than the ones on this blog. Is it because of the difference in experiences? If so, Singapore life is too shallow. Or maybe I'm just too caught up in the rat race to think about other things in life.

Quite sad leh! I really wish I could go back to the life I had over there. Somehow it seems impossible when I'm here.

And my tagboard has been rather neglected lately.. *hint* haha

2008-11-21T20:11:00.002+08:00

THE NIGHTMARE IS FINALLY OVER. Hopefully i get a decent grade too. =X

Anyway, you know kaykey is procrastinating about studying when you see a new blog entry up before exams are over. haha. Not terribly productive today, have not even finished reading through my entire ID psych notes because i got sidetracked along the way. Kept having the strange urge to sing along to songs the entire afternoon. Maybe I'm going crazy. haha.

Ok, for everyone's entertainment. Posting up something random i wrote from long long ago. haha. (quite emo though)

I Love You
He ran his hands through his hair
Thinking, wondering
how it might have been
If he had said them out loud

Summertime
Sweet smell of apples in the orchard
Laughter, Her
A face shining
With all the love and hope in her eyes
He turned from that sigh
to a marble-sculpted trophy

He's back now
Yet hope has fled his life
The way he fled hers before
Only love steadfastly remains

Watching her still frame so beautiful,
Asleep
Those words are too late.
Buried. Forever.
© Kaykey Teo

Ok another one! I really like this, but I have no idea how i managed to write it. One rare inspired moment maybe?

Unrequited
Why can't you love him?
When all he does is for you
When you are his whole world
Yet he stands on the sidelines of yours
Smiling outside while weeping
Deep in his heart
He is the one you run to when in trouble
But you share your happiness with another
One can't love to order, I understand
But why is he the one to suffer?
He can give his life for you
And die smiling
The three words from you, however,
Are not the ones he wants to hear
Its times like this when I prefer
Love to be an equation
Where reciprocity is the rule
Your love = his love
Without needless pain
And unrequited love
© Kaykey Teo

Note: these are not reflective of my current mood. i'm just feeling bored of psych right now. haha.

2008-11-13T11:14:00.002+08:00

Was rather productive yesterday, 95% of 2 papers completed.

But i'm feeling this sense of lethargy once again, and the rain isn't helping.

Heard on the radio the other day about this list oxford researchers came up with: top 10 most annoying phrases. of course, being a survey of the brit-ish, many phrases were not exactly relevant to us. But if it were up to me, knowledge management would definitely be on the list. after next friday, i never want to hear this phrase again.

I swear.

2008-11-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

Was planning on a nice intelligent post on the US elections and an angsty length rant about my kg prof.

But guess what? MORE WORK. Courtesy of the latter, who does not really possess a teeny bit of that. Courtesy, I mean.

So, no more posts. Back to work.

MS word will be my constant companion throughout. I'm sure we will come out with a lifelong friendship, which will last us through thick and thin.

Good riddance.

2008-11-06T00:11:00.003+08:00

Xiaoqian rocks!

Haha I must say this again, xiaoqian you rock! And to express my gratitude i will blog about this. I mean, not alot of people will help that much loh, you are like singlehandedly saving my project!

Okok i shall start from the beginning. I'm sure many of you have heard complaints about my knowledge governance mod, and the horrendous 50% project we have to do. We needed interviews, and since xiaoqian has contacts in the related areas, I asked her for help, rather last minute actually. And I guess i really sounded urgent, since i kept like emailing her even though she never reply. And it turned out that she had left to go travel!

Then today after she came back she immediately msned me (even though she's probably tired out from the traveling), and told me she had made contact with 3 or 4 potential interviewees for me. So she (1) sent me their contacts through email, (2) sent me information the organization which didn't want to be interviewed sent her, and (3) answered a list of interview questions herself!

OMG LOH. Ok i seem to be rambling already, but you catch my drift. I mean, i will definitely help a friend in need, but this is really wayy beyond my expectations. Yay for xiaoqian! (er i hope i don't embarrass you too much, hahaha)

Come back i surely treat you. Confirm.

Thanks!!

2008-11-03T23:25:00.001+08:00

3 modules.

4-day week.

Great time arrangements, BOSS.

Final term somemore.

2008-10-29T20:43:00.002+08:00

Ok, no more depressing posts. I'm back to normal, more or less.

As normal as you can get in SMU Week 11. Which is, well, being swamped by tons of papers to write (I seriously have no idea how that happened. This term was supposed to be more of an 'easing back into smu' time!), having to start studying, AGAIN, and basically not having much of a life.

I am trying really hard to get myself deep into the writing-paper thing, but somehow it seems especially hard this sem. So many distractions. Argh. Or maybe subconsciously I am just not very willing to keep on doing work that I don't have a particular interest on.

STILL.

I. MUST. FINISH. EVERYTHING. ON. TIME. (This is a reminder to self, don't get alarmed!)

On a side note, the hardened skin on my fingers which developed while i was trying to learn the guitar through online lessons have peeled off! Which means when I cut off my nails to continue these sessions, i'm gonna suffer again.

Ok, not a very coherent post. I have to save all coherent strands of thought for the papers I guess.

2008-10-26T23:40:00.003+08:00

Here's a comment to a phone conversation i had recently (which was rather therapeutic, thanks!) about something i have been dwelling on for some time:

Do you fix something that is broken, when you don't even have the desire to fix it in the first place?

2008-10-25T00:20:00.002+08:00

Its great to have a friend to talk to even though we are separated by miles and miles. I feel better now, and hope the rest of you do too.

2008-10-24T21:51:00.002+08:00

All I wanna say is...

Don't be sorry. Its not your fault. We were all willing participants, and just so happened that too many assumptions were made. Some people are just not suited for anything more than plain friendship, and how would you know better until you experienced it? All of us are just too different, in both goals and values.

My bad for not voicing out my reservations.

2008-10-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

This sudden urge to jam just hit me when I heard some accoustic songs playing on my music player. Its really been too long. The rush you feel singing whatever you feel like to just a guitar or keyboard is rather hard to recreate in other situations. I can still remember the times spent practicing for one thing or another in the jamming studio. Great memories, that.

Ah well, time waits for no man. We have all moved on to other stuff I guess.

2008-10-13T20:28:00.002+08:00

zzz. TONS of work to do, no time to rest. But recently I am having a manga craze whenever I feel like slacking. Just any random manga that I can read online on one of those websites that post scanlations. Replacement for a real life I guess!

Week 9 is my real hell week:

Wed - Psych of individual differences midterms and intro to dma paper (4 to 5 pages, mind you!) due
Thurs - 10 page individual paper for knowledge governance due
Sat - 90% sure i will have a whole day meeting for KG project

Doesn't sound like alot hor? But well, those two teeny little tasks for KG are killing me. Please people, don't take that module.

On a brighter note, remember to visit JACK@SMU Oompaloompa Bazaar in Week 10!

2008-10-09T11:14:00.004+08:00

My life is damn sad. Somehow there seems to be more and more work, and everywhere I turn there's a deadline. Bah. Perhaps I'm just stressing myself out. Been suspecting that for sometime, but can't help it.

Well at least we had an enjoyable time hari raya-ing at ili's yesterday! Our very last time as smu students, but its great to just sit around and enjoy good food, and not worry about stupid things like midterms and papers. I needed that. I also need more time, and while we are at that, to get out more. And maybe someone to do my work (I seem to say this every term). I think exchange spoiled me lah. I handled much more work than this before switzerland.

Ok, on the side, trying to make my life more exciting, we - that is, Jerena, Aries, Charlene and Kaykey (JACK) will be at the SMU Oompaloompa Bazaar in week 10, 21st to 23rd oct. Dresses, tops, bottoms, bags, accessories, etc are all available. Join us on facebook! And visit us on our website Most designs are up there, so if you really like something, email us at jackbazaar@gmail.com!

I really need to relax more.

2008-10-03T18:34:00.005+08:00

Now I finally understand how China made its way to become the factory of the world. (and its not because of its scarily massive population.) They applied the principle of "less is more". Less real ingredients, more products! Ta-da!

First diary products, then 大白兔 milk candy, then M&Ms and oreo wafer sticks, then pocky sticks. Now even soya sauce and VEGETABLES. 太棒了.

Singaporeans, let's all 成仙 and not eat anything from now on, since almost everything we eat has some component that comes from china. No, wait. Is there any food in singapore at all that is not china-related? Who can name me one?

Those overseas in Australia and Europe don't come back already. Nothing safe to eat here. -_-

PS: Note i didn't say USA.
PPS: And its probably not "food scandal" now, more apt to say"FOOD CRISIS".

2008-10-01T12:55:00.002+08:00

Motivation, thou hast forsaken me. I bid thee return!

LOL drama-mama i know. Just felt like writing Shakespearean style abit. Midterm break coming! Like that was ever something to look forward to. =X

2008-09-23T11:12:00.002+08:00

Weather sucks. Construction going on next to my place. I miss Switzerland.

2008-09-23T11:12:00.001+08:00

God. Weather sucks. Construction going on next to my place. I miss Switzerland.

2008-09-18T19:47:00.006+08:00

My current favourite song:

20年 by 张萌萌 from the show 少年杨家将

It doesn't sound the best the first time you hear it, but give it a chance. The song and the lyrics just grow on you. Even more so when you watch the show, cos its really apt awhen you watch the unfolding of the events in the show and you hear this song at the end.

Thanks aries for introducing the show to me! Even though i'm not sure if now's the right time to watch. haha. Still. And I have the full song! ;)

2008-09-18T18:10:00.001+08:00

I think I'm damn whiny lately. Sorry for all who have to endure it, online or in person! I have no idea why I'm like that also. =X

2008-09-16T14:06:00.003+08:00

Ok, i guess my entries have not exactly been the most cheerful recently. And I am a really bad updater I realize. But well, nothing to say mah. Haha. I think I'm getting into the smu mode gradually, since I'm getting more productive week by week. That's coming at the right time, since midterms will be coming soon, and I have like a few papers due before the break as well. I'm slowly working up the momentum to become a smugger again.

Somehow I feel that after coming back from exchange, my perspective about things have changed somewhat. I really think that Singaporeans have a very narrow perspective of life. What we want is to just study study study, get a degree and then immediately get a job, then work work work all the way. Everyone complains that they have no time for anything else. But when I am overseas, I look at the adults there and they seem to have so much time to do other things. They are somehow able to balance both work AND life. Like what my swiss friend says, singaporeans seem to only concentrate on work-work balance and neglect the life aspect completely.

Is this our culture? Because even the undergrads are like that in Singapore. Students in Europe are just that. Students. They study, yes, but they also have so much more fun than we do. They go on trips during the midterm break, they have weekend outings and parties, they pursue studies that they are passionate about. Many are astounded about how practical Asians are about their studies, and how they can choose practical courses over things they really love. They somehow have the time to go on walks, hikes, explore recipes in the kitchen and have dinner gatherings. This is not just exchange life, this is what I observed with other non-exchange students living in the hostel. The asian and european work attitudes are really different.

That really made me wonder what I want in life. I know that education in europe is much cheaper than in asia, which is why they are able to take their own sweet time and go on with their studies as much as they want. Or maybe I just met the privileged few with relatively good financial backgrounds. Nonetheless, their attitude of pursuing their passions really made me think twice of just settling down with any job that pays well. Of course the Asian in me still wants to do that to some extent, because i still think that you need a certain amount of financial backing to pursue the things you want without much obstacles. Though that seems to me like a paradox.

Wah ok this is turning out to be reflective and rather depressing again. I guess I am still somehow stuck in the exchange experience. But I think many people are quite tired of hearing me harping about that. I can't seem to reconcile both sides and get out of this wallowing in memories, which is getting me frustrated. And I'm not really considering any possible job prospects yet because I'm still confused and have no idea where I want to go in life. There's just some hazy idea of a grand plan with no concrete details.

OKAY TOO DEPRESSING. I also dunno how to make this post more cheerful. Haha. Erm. Watch 命中注定我爱你! Quite funny. Ok that's random. But then its really quite a nice show. I recommend it!

Well this is not going anywhere already. Shall stop here. No idea when the next update will be, but it will come.. soon! :D

Sick

2008-09-04T11:03:00.002+08:00

3 weeks into school, and what do I do? I go and fall sick. Great. Loads of work to do, and all I could manage yesterday was lie in front of the tv and nibble some bites of food. Yes, its good to not to any work at all sometimes and to sleep whenever you want, BUT NOT NOW.

Now's the time with loads of work to do and many appointments to keep. But no, my traitorous immune system decides that now is a good time to go on holiday and has not had the decency to come back yet. So what to do? Time waits for no man. I'll just have to start work immediately after finishing up this post.

Just don't ask me out for the weekend or even next week. I probably won't have the strength.

2008-08-26T23:20:00.002+08:00

Well, my dilemma has been solved. Thanks for the advice people! Especially Vanessa. Haha. In the end, I dropped cultural psych and took another module, which thankfully is not as heavy.

However, that has led to another complication. Now I am really really slack. Its bad ok! I have deadlines to meet, as well as that stupid econs paper to write (I only got as far as copy and pasting information from online. which is not much. ARGH) I realise that I am totally not in the right frame of mind to start school yet, because my heart is still far far away in the snowy ice-capped mountains. What's more, I have no urge to do any work once I get off class. Coming back from exchange is more agonizing than starting it. Because you know you have at least 4 months of non-school to look forward to. Well the main point of exchange is not studying, even though you will eventually get down to some form of studying sometime within those months you are over there.

But still. I have no concentration left! It doesn't help that I have many shows waiting for me to watch on my computer. I guess while my brain has accepted that I have started school, my heart has yet to do so, and thus it keeps wandering around, to anywhere but work. Its painful, because I have promised myself that I would work hard for my last 2 semesters.

What's more, people around me are trickling off to exchange. Wini has gone off to Canada already, and Alan has gone to HK, with Xiaoqian and Marcus flying off to Vienna soon as well. I want to return to that phase in my life again, where all you worry about is where you will be traveling to next. Sigh.

Which leads me to my next ranting point. (In case you haven't noticed, this post is all about complaints.) There is absolutely no one who has the same break times as me! Sure, I have friends in every class I am taking this semester, but I have no lunch buddies at all! It seems like whenever I am free, people have class; and whenever I have class, people are free. Its going to be a lonely sem, I predict. :(

Maybe I will be so overcome by loneliness and boredom that I will start doing work. Maybe.

ARGH.

2008-08-23T00:36:00.002+08:00

Omg. I just read Jer's post on bidding. I have a dilemma now too! Its not exactly the same, but well it revolves around the same problem too.

First and foremost, planning your modules SUCK. Especially when you are taking a course that is usually being neglected by the school, so there are not many choices in terms of major classes to take.

But that's besides the point.

Here's the short version: I am currently debating over whether I should drop cultural psych.

Long version: Because I didn't work hard enough in Bern (yes, all the traveling -_-), I ended up marginally failing that stupid econs mod. So I had 7 mods left instead of the initial 6. Therefore, I decided to take 4 mods this term in order to not make myself so stressed in the last term. But since i marginally failed, i decided to take my chances and try emailing the prof to ask for some extra credit work. I emailed in early July. He JUST replied. Like 2 days ago. So now I have an essay to write in order to pass the class, but once I get pass the gathering information part, its all pretty much set.

Hence my dilemma: I bidded for a module that really requires alot of work, which is cultural psych. I have nothing against the course: I think the prof has very valid reasons to give the readings she did, but sometimes she seems to forget that we all have other classes to prepare for as well. The workload so far (and its only the end of week 1!) is already rather intimidating - the most I have seen for any class so far.

So now, since I am almost guaranteed a pass in my econs mod mentioned above, should I still go for all 4 modules this term and chiong it out, leaving only 2 modules for next term? I really want to maintain my gpa, or even try to raise it, which is a major reason why I want to take 3 modules per term. However, if I drop cultural psych now, I would have to take 2 psych modules and 1 political science module next term, which is not easy as well. On the other hand, if I manage to see this term through (with good results of course), I will have a really slack last term, and I can do other things at the same time, say doing another part-time internship.

Confusing? I think so too.

Ok let's do a list.

If I continue with the module:
1. I need to really slog it out this term.
2. I end up with 2 modules for my last semester.
3. I can do other things next semester in addition to studying, eg internship.

If I drop the module:
1. I take 3 modules next semester, all major modules, which might be tough.
2. I get to devote more time and resources to all the modules, thus having a bigger chance to pull up my gpa abit more.

How? I need advice. Window closes when BOSS does, which is Sunday night. Thanks alot people!

Back in Singapore

2008-08-06T20:24:00.002+08:00

Well, after 6 long months, I am finally back home. To where I belong. (Forgive the cheesy ndp-sounding line!) In some ways it seems like I have never left, but in some ways I have been irrevocably changed.

Ok this all sounds so sad and depressing, but its true. Many people have been asking me what I feel about coming back to Singapore, but the truth is, I don't really know. It all seems so familiar, but there is just something different about everything. I still can't put my finger to it. But one thing is certain: I will always treasure the time I spent in Europe. The good, the bad, the happy and the sad. Everything. Because I know that this is something I will never get to experience ever again. There might have been things I would want to change if given another chance to start over, but what I have seen and felt in Europe is something I will carry with me for a lifetime.

Digression - Listening to 宥嘉's cd now. Not bad! Review coming soon. - End digression.

I hope the change in blogs will be noted. Haha. That was just a blog to commemorate my exchange experience. I'll probably keep it there, cos it holds quite alot of memories for me.

I think I am still in a state of adjustment right now, everything just seems so strangely normal. It is as if I had a very long dream about Europe. But I have never been so affected by the weather in Singapore. It is suddenly too hot and humid for me, and the slightest increase in temperature has me complaining to all and sundry. IT. IS. SO. BLOODY. HOT.

I made quite a few good friends through my exchange, and its weird that Singaporeans who never met in their lives would become friends halfway round the world. That is just fate's strange way of working I guess. And I am really grateful for that.

So, if you are considering going for exchange, here is my advice: GO FOR IT. Grab it with both hands and run away with it. Don't worry about whether you are going with friends or alone, just go. It doesn't matter where you pick - choose something within your financial abilities - it is the experience that counts. Don't share a room (erm, no offense) if you are someone who really needs a physical personal space (I am like that but I didn't consider it when making the decision because of the cost and other complications). Explore the place! There's nothing more fun then making a new place your own, and knowing where everything is.

But right now, I am just taking one day at a time, trying to get into the pace of life again here at home. I'll tell you guys about how it feels like to be back once I sort out my thoughts.

2008-05-27T19:25:00.002+08:00

Just read the blog of someone I know, and I was totally inspired. By how much motivation the guy has for so many different things and managing to balance all the different facets of his life. I am really impressed. Someone who's biologically around my age, yet light years apart in terms of maturity and thought processes. I am certain he will be part of the movers and shakers of the next generation.

Comparing him and me, I wonder, what have I done with my life so far? Not much. Everything has been done within a small little comfortable space. I have given up opportunities and different chances because I thought I would not be able to attain what I want. The result of not having enough confidence in myself, I guess.

This seems to be the major obstacle for me. I need to overcome this before I am able to really start going places. I want so many things out of my life, yet somehow I just stop short when there is actually a chance of making them reality. Going on exchange has been a dream come true. I have seen Europe now, but I'm not sure if that is enough. There are so many people here who are truly remarkable and so much better than us. Who cares if you were in the top 10% of the small tiny island of Singapore? When it comes to competing on world level, where would you stand?

Not very far up, it seems. I think I need to reconsider my priorities. Complaining takes you nowhere. I want to take charge of my life. To start doing things I want to and start planning for my future. Grab every opportunity that comes.

Wish me luck. Thanks for inspiring me.

2008-03-11T19:25:00.002+08:00

世事变化多端，地球天天都在旋转。过去的，应该找不回来了吧? 只希望友谊不会变质。

2008-01-29T14:26:00.000+08:00

Just finished cleaning up my room.. now it looks so much nicer and neater. :) Am in a much better mood than the past few days cos things finally seem to be settling down. Yay.

2008-01-25T12:43:00.000+08:00

$%^&*!

Bad luck 2 days in a row. I think I offended someone up high or something. Lost my ez-link card the day before and NO ONE picked it up. I was so near the mrt station somemore. Then stupid hostel application had some hiccups AGAIN. I think that woman and I were enemies in our past lives. Nothing I do is correct leh, seriously. Whatever. Just want to crawl into bed and sleep now. Don't talk to me.

2008-01-21T13:48:00.000+08:00

The competition for the top 8 finalists in the first season of 超级星光大道 was much better than the finale for the second season. That alone says alot. Sums up the entire 2nd season, even. And I didn't even bother to go back to the earlier episodes of the first season man! And I'm blogging while watching the finale! Oh man... So disappointing for a show that was so great the first time round. Rather hard to match up now that you have got a first season before you, I guess..

2008-01-18T15:53:00.000+08:00

Ok, my blog is finally functioning normally, all the links are up, thanks to Winston! Yay!

And I have set up another blog just for my switzerland trip here, so do go visit it and tag on my board! It will keep track of where I'll be at and where I'm headed. Its finally starting to sink in that I'm going to be leaving soon, though I think, like all trips, it will only really sink in after I am on the plane. Gonna miss my family and friends and this comfortable environment, but I hope to gain new things from this exchange. :)

2008-01-15T20:28:00.000+08:00

你是我的眼
词/曲：萧煌奇

如果我能看得见就能轻易地分辨白天黑夜
就能准确地在人群中牵住你的手
如果我能看得见就能驾车带你到处遨游
就能惊喜地从背后给你一个拥抱
如果我能看得见生命也许完全不同
可能我想要得我喜欢的我爱得都不一样

眼前的黑不是黑你说的白是什么白
人们说的天空蓝是我记忆中那团白云背后的蓝天
我望向你的脸却只能看见一片虚无
是不是上帝在我眼前遮住了帘忘了掀开

你是我的眼带我领略四季的变幻
你是我的眼带我穿越拥挤的人潮
你是我的眼带我阅读浩瀚的书海
因为你是我的眼让我看见这世界就在我眼前
--------------------------------------------------------

第一次听到这首歌，并不是原唱。在超级星光大道中听林宥嘉唱这首歌就已经很有感觉。因为歌词写得太好，深深地被感动。原唱萧煌奇看不见，声音却如此的穿透人心。用一句陶子在节目上说的话 -- 我们比他看到了更多，但是我们感受到的比他少太多了。突然，所有曾经遇到的不如意都显得好渺小。

听着他的歌声，惊觉我们在许多方面其实比他更有障碍。眼睛健全的我们，更害怕失败与挫折。因为没有真正感受过失去，所以会刻意地回避它。总是反复的思考，时常不敢尝试，无法突破自我设下的限制。

在很多方面，我们比很多人幸福。生长在和平的世界，美满的家庭，有健全的身躯。也许是因为太幸福了，让我们不懂如何努力争取，不知道真正要的是什么，更没有勇气选择和别人不同的路。幸福，若蒙住了双眼，让我们无法感受美好，迷失方向，能否算是一种不幸？

2008-01-10T22:17:00.000+08:00

Updates

Wow, school has started for my smu and ntu friends! Have a great term! Haha. As for me, (hopefully) german classes will start soon, and in the meantime I'm just slacking. Just taking one day at a time!

Accomodation has FINALLY been settled, and I finally have a room confirmed and waiting for me in Bern. I don't really want to go into details here, in case my karma not good enough and someone related chances upon this blog with loads of complaints about the matter. I've already stepped on some toes, so let's not make it worse, yeah? All I can say is that it was all rather dramatic and comical (in some sense), and that loads of emails were involved. Haha. Ask me if u want to know, but it really depends on my mood.

Here are updates on the past week:

Sunday
Met up with BLEWKY with FULL attendance! How rare is that? Had a nice lunch at Holland V's Essential Brew, and it was really good to see everyone again. Haha. Reminds me of all the times we were in jc, talking and laughing in the canteen during breaks. I miss those times, but well, you can't turn back time no matter how hard you try. At least we still keep in contact and we actually meet up. Too bad lianne had to leave early though, you should have stayed for our settler's cafe session. It was hilarious, especially when we played taboo. Play with bell sometime and you will understand why. LOL. Photos will hopefully be up soon. Haha.

Monday-Tuesday
Slacking and youtubing. lol

Wednesday
Went to send Yun off. She's now in LA touring (or maybe still sleeping off the jetlag, lol). Her final term already, and she's going exchange! Omg I'm not going to see you for at least 6 months, and it hasn't really sunk in yet. But then, we will both be experiencing so many new things, and hopefully that keeps our minds off home and homesickness. As I was waving at her as she checked in, it suddenly struck me that in less than 1 month, that will be me on the other side of the glass.

Thursday (today)
I just went ktv! With my colleagues from my internship company. Only 3 of us, but we had quite alot of fun, especially when we started singing all the old songs. Er but please charm, your repertoire is a teensy bit too classical...

Well, updates end here for now, will blog again soon!

2007-12-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

Wow, long absence again. The hols always seem to do that to me. Haha. Anyway, belated merry christmas to all my friends, and a happy new year in advance!

Flight details have finally been settled after some hiccups, which included switching of travel agency and stuff like that. But we still got quite an ok deal, which was the ultimate goal of me doing so much research. Don't really relish the fact that travelling also needs much research beforehand. Argh.

Anyway, for those who might be considering coming to send me and Charlene off, here are our details for departure:
Date: 4 Feb 2008
Time of Flight: 9pm (which means we board at 7pm, lah)

Ok, short post, cos I gonna go off to do some article-writing to help Nicole out (paid work, ok)!

2007-12-20T16:09:00.000+08:00

Was just getting a scolding on the phone; the other party didn't even take time to breathe man!

I hope its not the swiss way to remember grudges so well sia, I mean, I was at fault, and I accept that, but the way she handled it was a tad too childish I think. Apparently sincerely apologetic emails don't cut it for her, and I have to present myself to be scolded, since she did sound a little less pissed after her long rant, I hope.

Bah. People suck sometimes.

2007-12-16T13:55:00.000+08:00

同样的外壳，其中的内容与构造却已经完全不同。这种改变，是无可奈何的。

局外人，或许是最恰当的形容。

尽管如此，不被尊重的感觉依然不是滋味。

2007-12-15T15:40:00.000+08:00

Finally all my results have come in.

Quite happy with most of them, had expected or even better than expected results, which showed that my hard work for this freaking @#$% term had paid off, almost. The only blight on my record was rather bad. Really didn't think I would have gotten such a grade for that subject. I didn't expect an A+, but not that bad a result either.

Ah well, what's done is done. I guess the prof would not have given me much leeway even if I asked for a review, judging by what was said during lessons and the breakdown. Cos the prof's mean (allow me my whinings, haha) and I admittedly didn't give my all in studying.

But anyway, my GPA has seen a slight increase, which I hope is a trend that will continue for the remaining terms I have. :)

2007-12-13T10:48:00.000+08:00

Wahaha. I know. Long time no update right?

The sense of lethargy after exams ended was really powerful this time man. Plus the fact that I have been watching this 40-episode HK drama these few days. I'm sure many have heard of 溏心风暴, right? It won alot of awards in the recent TVB awards ceremony, and its really extremely good! Which explains why I was stuck in front of my screen the past few days doing nothing else. Muahaha.

Erm, nothing much to say also. I think I've lost the blogging bug after exams ended. I'm damn busy this December, one month is really too short for a school holiday, and too many things have to be done. Thankfully I don't need to go back to school with the rest of them, haha.

So, this is an update for updating's sake. Till next time, ja ne!

2007-12-05T20:33:00.000+08:00

Feeling bored? Need some entertainment in the form of shows? Here's a review by one of the faithful readers of my blog.

Presenting... MB (pseudonym lah.. the guy likes his privacy, as if millions of people read my blog.. haha) and his review of the anime, Claymore!

Anime Review –
“CLAYMORE”

This anime series is one of the very few in the dark fantasy anime genre that has the potential to break into the mainstream Otaku audience. It already has substantial fan service and I was very surprised at the lack of attention that has plagued this “hidden gem” given the fine quality of artwork, cutting-edge fighting scenes and superb voice acting!

Set in the medieval age, the focus of the story is on a group of blondies who are known as “Claymores”. They are hybrids of demons and humans created for the purpose of slaying Yoma (demons). Not exactly the most novel plot but nonetheless, this anime series did keep me grappling for more after each episode that I had to finish it in spite of the fact that I’m having my exams! =P
A secret organization trains these Claymores and “breeds” them. They are contacted by village elders and are requested for extermination of demons roaming on the streets in human guises. Possessing the same blood (or should I say 50% of it?) running through their veins, Claymores are the only ones who can differentiate yoma from human. However, humans themselves alienate and discriminate against the Claymores for the melancholic and somewhat tragic stigma strongly associated with them, sometimes even biting the very hand that saved them. For that reason, Claymores are perceived by the humans to be an extremely dangerous race, devoid of feelings, pure mercenaries who do not hesitate to kill or be martyred for their raison d'être.

The story revolves around a Claymore named Clare and a very young boy whom she saved in a demon-hunting mission named Raki. After a demon was discovered in Raki’s house, Clare saved Raki’s life by slaying the demon who took the form of his brother. Much to Raki’s dismay, the success of the mission did not end in fireworks and celebration. Deemed to have links with demons and in the name of protecting the safety of the town, Raki was banished into oblivion and left to die on his own afterwards. The story continues as Clare and Raki develops a deeper relationship through the unique trials and tribulations in the journey of a human and a Claymore.
Very often, you would sometimes wish that certain supporting characters in an anime had a more defined personality that is shaped clearly enough to give the story a realistic feel. Claymore did just that and it truly did not disappoint. The author expanded character development on other Claymore characters such as Ophelia, Deneve, Helen, Miria and Priscilla and gave it a pretty dramatic touch. The emotions, actions and voice-actors of these characters were impeccably coherent throughout the whole series. Combine that together with liberal usage of graphic war-torn scenes and battles, the feelings that the author wants to convey in the anime becomes very pristine. The bloodshed in the anime is far from being mindless, it actually gives more depth to the plot by accentuating the somewhat tragic feelings of sadness and loss.

The author has taken a simple storyline and added brilliance to it by taking a more daring approach, incorporating elements of surprise that gave a realistic plot without compromising on the action scenes. Although the anime diverged from the manga from episode 20 onwards, the ending wasn’t shabby.

I should put a note of warning though for people who are easily appalled by graphic violence and cannot stand the slightest sight of blood; this anime might not be for you. Bear in mind that I am no fan of Saw or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In fact I hate gory violent movies with cheap plots so much that I’d rather spend the money buying feeds for my pet goldfish than to watch such a movie in the theatres. However, I managed to get past the façade in Claymore and was enthralled by the most touching moments in Claymore and no less amazed at this anime series which went beyond simple themes that are so prevalent in the current world of anime.

The anime opening video:

Rating: A-

The writer is a 3rd year SMU student who has too much free time on his hands after exams and decided to write an anime review for Kay Key’s blog. The recommendations and views expressed here are his personal opinions and he absolves himself from any responsibility if you make decisions based on this anime rating. Oh by the way, the rating system is based on SMU’s GPA system in case if you are wondering.

Wanna contribute on my blog too? Just email me the stuff, subject to editing and depends on the subject though. lol

2007-12-03T12:08:00.001+08:00

FINALLY... the exams are over.

My torturous term has ended at long last, and I'm so glad that I don't have to go through the same thing again next term. This has really been the worst term so far, deadlines after deadlines, so much that I didn't even get to enjoy my first few weeks back in school, other than the first day (when I had no lessons). Yes, it was that bad.

But what the heck. It's over! Now time for planning my exchange trip and other miscellaneous stuff! I'm sure these 2 months will be over in the blink of an eye. I just hope I'm not caught unprepared by the time I have to fly off to Switzerland.

2007-11-29T11:38:00.000+08:00

Here's continuing my spate of random lines posing as updates. Lol

Later today got globalization. Toby please have some mercy on me, and give us stuff I can answer.

People are starting to end exams :(
Jer ended yesterday, Winston and Xiaoqian ending today.
Don't inform me of any more people who have already ended exams. Tell me that next week.

I think this is beginning to be a ritual, must post an entry before going for each of my exams. Haha.

This post is longer ok, not really very random, what.

2007-11-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

Ethics tomorrow!

I wish it was over already.

Exam weeks are always the longest. Blah.

2007-11-25T12:58:00.000+08:00

Help. First exam tomorrow. COGNITIVE PSYCH. Someone drug my prof and make her high so that she will give me an A+, whatever shit I hand in tomorrow.

Will be eternally thankful,
stressed out

2007-11-21T23:10:00.000+08:00

WHY have I been so unmotivated lately?

Its the study week. So obviously I'm supposed to STUDY.

Someone (or the powers that be) grant me the discipline to see this week through with the knowledge needed intact in my head when I go for the exams.

Extreme frustration leads to procrastination, which spawned this post. You would also have realised this as well if you read this entry before your exams end, because YOU are blog-surfing when you should be studying.

2007-11-12T12:58:00.000+08:00

I've been a good girl! Been busy doing work and finishing all the stuff that is due, which is why there has not been anymore posts for a few days. Haha. I went straight back to work after the procrastination post (which many have said that my desk resembles theirs. Must be the uni student syndrome.), and I completed my paper! (Thanks Winston for helping me read through)

This spate of deadlines will be the final ones for this hectic term (thank goodness) before the final exams come around. I can't wait for the term to be over, so I can properly prepare for Switzerland, muahaha.

Oh yes, hope all my friends who still have to bid for modules for the next semester got all their bids! It rocks to be BOSS-free. :)

2007-11-08T16:10:00.000+08:00

This is what happens when you have a 2500 word paper due next Thursday.

1. Stare at the pile of articles (and the thick textbook) on your table.

2. Scroll through the other pile of information in your computer that was not printed out.

3. Decide to fiddle with your phone's camera and subsequently spot a photo-taking opportunity starring the above 2 points.

4. Take the picture, and start blogging.

What can I say, procrastination rocks. Haha.

New Skin!

2007-11-04T01:54:00.001+08:00

Wahaha new skin! Nice not? Lol.

But there is one slight problem. Even though the html shows the archives links, it does not seem to show up on the blog page itself. The IT idiot needs help.. please do tell me how to overcome that slight glitch.. Thanks!

2007-10-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

Went to this 881 music showcase at Lunar yesterday. WOW. Professionals are really different. They can sing their hearts out on stage man. Despite the disgusting sound system, which irritated the music director (and the audience, no doubt) to no end.

Love the songs of the movie, love the movie, love the way they perform live, especially the professionals! Great show. Gives me the inspiration to continue singing man. But no time now. Maybe during hols. Haha.

2007-10-28T11:41:00.001+08:00

Ok lah, previous 2 posts quite serious hor, now I hope this one will be more light-hearted. Haha. Basically they corresponded with my mood last week, when I was so damn stressed over all the work that was due.

Yes. School work again. I have no life leh! Haha. But its getting better, since I have only 1 project presentation and report left, plus another term paper. The bulk of the work is finally behind me, and I HOPE I did ok. But then, being such a contrary person (who else gets higher grades for a 5% paper than a 30% paper despite studying for the latter?), I can't say anything for sure.

Now I'm more worried about exchange though. Most people know I'm going with Charlene (whether we will kill each other there is another issue, for another time), but there are 2 other girls going the same uni as us. I don't know them, and its quite bad (to me, at least) that we are planning our stuff all by ourselves. But then, I sometimes worry too much about such things, cos they afterall have not explicitly stated that they wanted to go together. But I somehow feel that it would be better to have a friendly face on the plane, even if we don't know each other that well. But then, you never know what other people think.

Oh well, all I can say to anyone planning to go exchange, especially people from SMU, is: please plan your schedule properly. Its hard to do internship and have an especially heavy workload while juggling all the deadline and extremely tedious paperwork to be done. i just want to dream about the Alps! Bleah. I hope this will all be worth it.

2007-10-23T21:48:00.000+08:00

I see some nicks on MSN, and I feel saddened. Its disheartening to see that despite how intelligent these people are, they just can't get past the fact that not everyone is born with the same inclinations as the majority. Is it some kind of teaching from religion that, despite whatever it purports, still encourages people to apply peer pressure on each other on every facet of life? And if there are others who do not feel or act the same way as what is said to be the "right" way, then they are wrong? What if these people are very good friends? Some have actually told me that they would not retain the same level of relationship if that is the case.

Is there such a need?

Society is made up of individuals. I believe that despite our sexual orientation, everyone deserves the same respect. I cannot say that I know alot of homosexuals, but I know enough to say that they do not deserved to be bombarded with words like "gays are evil" everywhere, even on MSN nicks. Are they not people too? All I'm saying is, we are all entitled to our own views, but there is no need to use such extreme words to state your stand against something that is a reality. Let's all try to be civil and respect the other side, shall we?

In any case, as an atheist, I don't see how repealing s377a will make erode traditional society norms likethe family unit. Why would it? It would simply mean an acceptance by the society that these people exist among us, and like everyone else, have the freedom to experience relationships without hiding in the closet. Why would society deteoriate just because a simple law is repealed? We are merely giving proper acknowledgement to our friends who happen to have different sexual orientations. They still live among us, and contribute much value to our society.

That said, I do understand why the law was kept. The mainstream (and secular, may I add) conservatives are still very much the majority, and society needs to move at its own pace. But I see the campaigns, for and against s377a, as a chance for Singaporeans to become more open about their political views and voice their stands about issues. It is a good place to start, I guess, so that hopefully even a small, but vocal minority can ensure that Singaporeans do not all become apathetic in all issues.

2007-10-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

OMG

Just read that JK Rowling revealed that Dumbledore is gay. This was actually something that I have never thought of, since nothing was really said about it. Perhaps I have not been reading carefully enough, since it seems that there have been speculations by many people, and about other characters as well.

For more info, read this link:
http://www.beyondhogwarts.com/harry-potter/articles/jks-surprising-revelation-about-dumbledore.html

When you do think about it, it seems logical, since Dumbledore never seemed to be the type who would have a wife and a family in the conventional sense. And it really makes the world JK Rowling constructed much more real for me, when it is apparent that she had thought through every single detail. It was all there in the books, just waiting for people to discover things that were previously not mentioned explicitly.

This came at such an interesting time, just when the 377a debate is making people from both sides stand up. I just wonder what people who insist on making such blatant discrimination legalized will feel when they realize that the greatest wizard in the Harry Potter series has been announced as gay, especially if they are fans. Even if this is just a fictional world, it just goes to show that sexuality is never an issue when it comes to intellect and respectability. And I don't see why the government should go so far in regulating people's lives, as long as it is out of mutual consensus.

Ok, veering off topic here. I actually had planned to blog about the Harry Potter series ever since the last book came out (which I finished in 2 nights, couldn't put it down), but I wanted to collect my thoughts before doing so. With such an amazing revelation, I think I have to go back to read all the books again before I will get a proper understanding of all the events.

This series is truly the representative story of our times, no matter what detractors say about how it encourages cults and other close-minded arguments. I literally grew up together with Harry and his trials and tribulations throughout the years. The way JK Rowling wrote made it all real to me, and I really felt proud of Harry towards the end, when he finally matured enough to see that he did not need to seek the power that was right before him, and to make a choice that was more subtle and less sensational, but perhaps even more impactful.

The moment I get some free time on my hands, I'm rereading the entire series. That's a promise. Haha.

2007-10-11T15:44:00.000+08:00

Midterm Break?

Midterm hell week, more like. Its been even busier than any of the weeks in school so far put together, despite the fact that I have actually completed 3 projects out of my 5 modules before the midterm break started.

There are so many individual assignments to complete, and so many readings to catch up on, all of which I have not even touched. And I just had to take 5 modules the very term before I go on exchange, meaning loads of admin and applications to settle WHILE juggling all my work. I believe I am qualified for a masochist. Either that, or I absolutely SUCK at time management AND module selection.

I wrote out a list of the things that I have to do, and we are now staring at each other with no chance for advancement at all. How?

I wish the term would end soon so I can start dreaming of Switzerland. Haha.

Oh yes! Wini's birthday was yesterday! 10/10! Haha. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINI!! Gonna attend her birthday tomorrow too, can't wait! Maybe I will finally get over the laziness that has been overwhelming me with regards to taking pictures and uploading them, and put some exciting things up once again!

And I need a new blogskin. Ok, random.

2007-10-06T12:22:00.001+08:00

Meeting Old Friends

Wow, facebook is really a good tool for finding long-lost people.. suddenly so many primary school friends are in contact with me again! Though I think I was one of those who didn't have much contact with the others after graduation, given that I went off to ny while the bulk of them all got transplanted to rv.. haha.

In the end, I think the one I'm in most contact with is... Terence. LOL.

And come to think of it, primary 6 was almost 10 years ago already! Gosh I feel old suddenly. And I don't even recognize some of them! (even though we are now in the same school) No wonder I keep seeing familiar faces in school lah! Haha.

I think I have a memory span for faces for about 3 years only, so those whom I don't keep in contact with will only be stored in my implicit memory, only to be recalled when retrieval cues (like facebook and other friends) are presented. HAHA.

Now some of them are planning a reunion! Wonder what it will feel like to see everyone again. I hope I remember stuff about them, and not embarrass myself by smiling and looking blank (which I most probably will. :X)

2007-10-01T01:19:00.000+08:00

They say writing is therapeutic. Let me try..

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Destress abit lah.. haha.. as I have told probably the whole world, I have 3 midterms the coming week (actually this week, since its past 12 midnight already) with the 2 most material-intensive ones on the same day.

What a great life I have.

But since my gpa's at stake, bo bian suck thumb loh.. Just have to get through Thursday and the rest of the term will be a little less bad. I HOPE.

Ok. Doesn't help. Since I am typing my psych notes into my computer, and blogging essentially uses the same process (oh man the word "process" is stuck in my head now, just like random terms such as "perception", "false memory", "modal model of memory")

Help. Someone take my exams for me. Preferably 1 person per paper. Interested applicants please email me.

2007-09-27T00:29:00.001+08:00

For anyone who still owes me a birthday present (21st ok!)

I want this pair of shades! Hugo Boss, 300 bucks. It is sold at Spectacle Hut @ Raffles City.

Thanks to whoever buys it in advance. :)

2007-09-23T15:06:00.001+08:00

People are much deeper than you think. What we show to the world everyday is, implying nothing negative, a facade. Everyone has stuff they don't want to tell people around them, even if these are people you call friends. I respect that, I just wonder how many people I can tell my secrets to, and how many will tell me theirs. If we can't tell each other what we are really thinking, what, then, is the point of behaving like we know these people well? In the course of our lives we will meet lots of people, but how many are friends whom you really know and trust?

Thought-provoking huh.. Random philosophical rant that just crossed my mind.

2007-09-20T00:26:00.000+08:00

I love reading Charm's blog when I'm stressed.. somehow it just cracks me up! Haha. Charm u can be a comedy script writer in the future you know, potential career path.. lol

2007-09-16T16:25:00.001+08:00

I am SO BORED with school... Shouldn't be complaining about anything, seeing as I'm still a carefree student, but I want to let off steam lah..

On a happier note, need to start planning budget for exchange liao.. But I'm a total goon when it comes to gauging market prices of traveling, etc etc etc. The only thing I'm more familiar with is the exchange rate, which is not the main point leh! How? I really need to do research man.. Actually I think I'm just lazy to start. Haha.

Anyway, here are some pictures of BERN!! (koped them off the net, haha) I'm definitely excited man, my childhood dream of going Switzerland and Europe finally fulfilled!

Nice right!! Next year you will see my face next to those beautiful sights..

2007-09-13T22:26:00.001+08:00

Wow. Another long silence from me. Busy leh! So much work to do in school, plus now I'm taking 5 modules (at least 3 of which have MOUNTAINS of readings to do each week). Can die loh. And yet I'm the queen of distractions. Instead of doing work, I am facebooking (latest fave), blog-surfing, chatting online, etc. No wonder I keep complaining I have no time. Now, I'm BLOGGING. It never stops! Haha. Ok, shall try to do something constructive.. Oh wait, someone's talking to me online......

2007-09-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

On Cloud Nine

Dear Kay Key,
Congratulations! Your initial application to Bern University is successful!

I'm one step closer! Alps, here I come!

2007-09-05T22:18:00.000+08:00

Ok, realize that it has been more than 1 week since i last blogged. I think I have this wild notion that my blog will somehow update itself with stuff, and i totally forgot that I should be the one who's doing the updating. Haha..

Anyway, I watched 881! OMG it was so nice. I know some people would not agree, but its Royston Tan's style. I have loved his short films ever since he came to HCJC for the first time during J1 to talk to us during assembly. And I always looked forward to his trips to our school, and he did come around 3 or 4 times during my 2 years in JC, if I remember correctly. Great to see a homegrown director (who's not Jack Neo who only does safe poking fun of the govt with unbelievable happy endings) to have such a successful showing in cinemas. Very rare leh!

And the theme song 一人一半 by 伍家辉 is still stuck in my head. Listening to it on repeat mode. Love it!

2007-08-27T12:04:00.000+08:00

Blah. School started. Why is this my second entry in a row talking about the same thing? Cos when you are an smu student, school term gives you no life but school, school, and more school. Yeah.

But ok lah, got to meet up with all my friends in school. Been too long since I could walk along the school concourse and just see familiar faces everywhere. But its getting weird though, cos this year the guys in my batch come into uni, and I really see vaguely familiar people around. I'm not sure if they are people I've seen from JC, or just random faces that I have been seeing around school for the past 2 years. This is a really weird feeling, and sometimes I would find this person so familiar that I will stare quite long. I think the person sometimes think I look familiar too, so there will be this awkward silence before we decide to just walk away. Haha.

Or maybe its just me? I'm not sure, cos I'm the kind who usually wouldn't say hi unless I'm quite sure I know the person. PLUS I have a little stml, so I usually don't recognise people that I don't talk to in my classes the previous term. So they will again be delegated to that category of people labelled "Vaguely Familiar Faces"! I think half the world is in that category, since I tend to remember faces more than names. :p

So anyway, to all the Year 1s this year (NTU, SMU, NUS, wherever), hope school is fun, though its more likely to be stressful and all, so you guys will finally know what we have been going through for the past 2 years!

2007-08-20T22:50:00.000+08:00

OMG. School has officially started!

Ok maybe not really, since I did not have class on Mondays. Nevertheless, I went to school! For what purpose I am not exactly sure, haha. But it did help me get back into the mood for school, which had been but a distant memory for me during the holidays.

Without even starting any classes, readings have already started to come in and pile up. Yes, PILE UP. This is mad. I think I have given myself lots of homework this term, since it seems like most of my profs are trigger-happy when it comes to sending attachments of tonnes of readings. Its definitely correct to say that school HAS started.

I think I am stressing myself up, since I seem to be repeating myself. lol. But I really think this would be quite a busy term, even without much CCA commitments. And my boss from the company I did internship with keeps asking me to go back to work part time. As much as I would like to just shout a big fat no, its hard. She's so nice and I feel bad that her workload has more than doubled after we (as in the 2 interns) left the company. But I also don't want to compromise on my grades, since I promised myself that I would concentrate on school work this term. Argh. Commitments.

Despite my complaints, I am really glad to be back. Haha. There's no place I'll rather be, to quote Kit Chan, than to be in school. Really. :)

2007-08-14T20:49:00.000+08:00

Ok, long long never update, so I kenna scolded.. Haha.

One week after internship ended, and I realise that I don't really want to start school next week! Too little time to relax, so many shows in my computer that I haven't watched. Argh. So one give me more time! And I haven't sold/bought my textbooks yet loh, so just a notice here first:

I am selling -
1. Principles of Marketing (Intl Edition) 11th Edition
2. How to Build Social Science Theories by Shoemaker (text for TnA)
3. Strategic Management of Technological Innovation by Schilling (TWC text)
4. Organisational Behaviour on the Pacific Rim Enhanced Edition (text for MPW)

I am buying -
1. The Globalisation of International Politics 3rd Edition (omg Tobias has already put up stuff, makes me feel like school is starting already.. bleah)
2. the Ethics text (is there more than 1?)

Well I need to find out about the others first, I shall be a mugger this term! Wahaha.

Ok what a stupid post. At least I updated! lol